For the love of God, please be YOU!

You are your purpose. You are why you are here. Realize this is how important you are. Of course you’re the main character of your story. You are the only person that you are in control of. The only person you can 100 percent make decisions for + follow through. You choose your thoughts, you choose the perspective with which you see the world. You choose how you see yourself. But you know what you aren’t in charge of? Who you are at your core. That part of you, the creation of you, that comes from God, creator, Universe. Choose the word you resonate with. 

 Why is your favorite color your favorite color? You can conjure up a reason but the truth is, you look at it, it gives you a certain feeling + you simply like it. Why is your sense of humor what it is? You can’t make yourself see something as funny that just doesn’t appeal to you. There may be a certain extent of social conditioning. But at your very core. Why are you the way you are? You hear parents say things all the time like, you’ve been that way since you were a kid. You had an avid imagination, you could never sit still. Other kids were playing with these action toys but not you. You had your head in the clouds + as an adult, you became someone who helps put people into space. But it’s like you were that before you even knew that was something you could do. You were already thinking that way. Not because of anyone around you, it was you. This essence that you innately are, this intelligence, this guiding force in our lives that is entirely unique to us. I believe this is why we are here.

 It’s so natural to you to be you, that you can entirely skip over it. Not even realizing how special + incredible your way of being is. You can disregard it, talk down to yourself, even shame yourself for the very uniqueness that was benevolently bestowed to you. A gift given. I have come to deeply appreciate + understand these fundamental truths from my life’s lessons. 

*Side note. 

Story time

 When I was in some of my darkest times. And by dark I mean I felt off, everyday was a tremendous effort. I didn’t feel like me, I felt buried. Soul crushing weight on my chest, it took every effort + focus I had to tend to the flicker of hope that had to stay alive or else my staying alive was soon to follow suit in flaming out. All I wanted, all I dreamed of was a “normal life”. A life where I felt good, safe, like me, not bombarded by thoughts just free to live my day how I wanted. To have emotional wellbeing. To feel like me + not like what was done to me. Hence my healing journey. 

Here’s what I learned. 

 As I healed. It was a journey back to me. Into me. That is all that healing was. It was coming home to myself. I didn’t know this when it began. I was shocked!! Shocked, shocked!!!  I thought I would “fix” the broken, messed up parts of me. That I would learn all the ways that I was wrong + cut them out, like some sort of emotional surgery would take place + I would learn to get a grip. We’d remove the faulty parts of me somehow + I’d come back more like everyone else. I would finally be “normal”. Ahhhh. Sigh of relief. My flawed personality + way of being would finally be as it was meant to. No longer would I be God’s mistake or afterthought. I was ready to be everything that wasn’t me because I was a dud + I was absolutely sure of it. My dear sweet young me. This wasn’t the case at all.

 Healing was in fact the opposite of all of that. It was learning to love myself. To accept myself. Those parts I thought I would cut away, we did the opposite. We brought them to the table + sat with them, integrated them, loved them, saw the beauty in them. The harsh judgements, the critic, the dictator feeding me lies that I was wrong as a human being, she wasn’t correct, she was the most hurt parts of me combined, she was my protector + she was tired. She was given a mic, a turn to be heard + she became my closest ally + best friend. My world turned inside out, I was transformed + found safety within through self love + acceptance. There are technical ways of doing this, you aren’t a light switch that just flips on automatically.  And I teach these things to people, for sure. 

 But here’s what blew my mind…

I began to feel really good. Like high on life, good. Daily. Consistently. I always had to force this, or conjure up environments that held space for this. But I didn’t know this was possible. I kid you not, it’s like colors got brighter. The opposite of my body feeling heavy + soul crushing occurred. I felt lighter, freer, naturally confident without even thinking about it. I coined the term feeling, Soul good. Because I did. To my bones, like I was electric + vibing to myself. And you know what. I was. I am. To this day. This is how good your self feels to you. When you let yourself be free, when you let yourself be fully expressed. Being true to you!!

I asked myself, what the biggest lesson of trauma was at the end of that healing cycle**. 

My intuition said, “The importance of honoring your Self”. 

I paused. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing that happens that makes us feel bad inside. It’s easy to think of all of the times that others didn’t honor us but that puts you in a victim state + that’s not what I’m here for. Instead, I want to bring you back to you + the beginning of this blog. We aren’t in charge of other people, only ourselves. You are the single most person you are constantly spending time with. You choose the importance you place on things in your life + on yourself. Honoring yourself starts with you, is upheld by you + always determined by you. 

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The shift...

When you are really proud of something you’ve done, it is you + only you who knows how much work, effort + discipline you brought to it. Do you take time to be really proud + deeply celebrate + acknowledge you?

You know when you are really feeling down + need some words of encouragement. In fact you know exactly what you’d like to hear. Do you give yourself your approval + love?

The little things, do you make them a priority for you? Do you fill your cup? Or do you fill others until there is nothing left + then expect them to do the same to you only they don’t + then you feel resentful + depleted?

Do you let the things that matter to you matter to others? Do you let them go out of their way for you? Speak up + use your voice for your benefit? Or do you yell + demand things go your way not even realizing you forgot to ask or speak for so long that you now think you must make things be so not realizing you skipped some steps in between?

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These are the true actions of self love. Of allowing your creation, your essence. You are made to have needs. They get to be received + you get to respond to yourself + fill your cup every single day. It’s not selfish, it’s the only person you have the ability to do this for. No one is going to jump into your mind or your body + make your life how you would love it to be. That is what your job is. To do what you love, how you love + to pay attention to you + give you your love. There is more there than you could ever imagine. It doesn’t run out. But we are running around expecting others to love us in ways that only we truly know how to. This is making us think love is in some limited supply out there + that others are in charge of our happiness. You  hold the keys. Breathe easy + go inwards. Your being true to you, is what makes you feel great in life. Honor your creation. 

I love you!

Trina Rose Marie

#IMBM

*Not everything will circle back to trauma in this blog. But this is where my foundation + growth came from. It feels foreign even going back to these days because my life is so far healed from then I rarely go back there. But it’s the only way I know to relay some of these points. Also, I’m not here to go into details that would make someone feel unsafe, so I will share the lessons but not the details here. 

 **(We are always healing + growing but there are cycles just like chapters in a book. Once the lesson is learned we move on from it. Sometimes it’s the end of a chapter, other times it’s the end of a book. Then the next part begins). 

Disclaimer, I understand energy healing is used for stress reduction + relaxation. That Trina is sharing her own experiences + opinions. I understand that energy practitioners do not diagnose conditions, nor do they prescribe or perform medical treatment, prescribe substances nor interfere with the treatment of a licensed medical professional. I understand energy healing does not take place of medical care. It is recommended that I see a licensed physician for psychological ailment I may have. I understand energy healing can compliment any medical care or psychological care I may be receiving.  I also understand the body has the ability to heal itself + to do so, complete relaxation is beneficial. I acknowledge that long term imbalances in the body may require multiple session in order to facilitate the level of relaxation needed by the body itself.